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Wednesday, June 8, 2016

32! People I EL-OHH-VEE-EEE my 30's!!!

I'm officially in the coolest club - those in their 30's!  Well, the other day I saw this on thefatjewish said a silent "that's so me," and thought I should rethink this sentiment, buuuut. still owning it.

I turn 32 on Saturday and have been processing the year.  Here's what I know:

>>>TIME MANAGEMENT matters. like a lot. Once you have a kid you realize you took all your time watching Homeland for granted. Not to mention those hours you lavishly got to go to a gym and shave your legs as slow as you wanted. My husband gave me the best gift of my life in which I'm calling "Rich and Famous Wednesdays." Every Wednesday I have a nanny which frees me up to go to the gym, drink a coffee by myself, not have anyone touch me, and then head to my friends swanky Weho office to work on my passion projects. It is the luxury of time which has been the best gift EVER.  Also, if you want to change how you think about your time :: READ THIS.

>>>MISCARRIAGE OF A BABY is way harder than I thought when I had talked to friends about this before. I'm welling up crying just typing it because losing that  baby really hurt. I know a million women go through it a year, but I miss that baby so much. I wanted that baby so much. Pain produces growth in your heart you didn't now you could though. I love my child and husband in a more precious way now. I look optimistically ahead thinking about how CRAZY blessed anyone who conceives is. It really is a miracle when you think of how easy it is for something to go wrong.

>>>LA IS AMAZING. I no longer find myself on Redfin searching for gorgeous homes in Colorado. I love this big life we've dreamed up and I have no desire to leave. (CAVEAT:  Emme's grandparents need a vacation home in Encinitas, can I get an amen??)

>>>PASSION is really important to me. For me, if I'm not meeting with my girlfriends to tell them what God recently told me, what new project I'm excited about, and what answered prayer I'm experiencing, WHAT IS THE WHOLE POINT?  I think I let myself get tired, plumpy, and dry as the desert. I read this book, started praying for my passion to return and I feel more myself than I have since I got preg.

>>>TRUMP RUINED MY GOP. But I don't even care.  Yeah, turns out I would rather vote for a President to take the race and poverty inequality in this country seriously rather than vote for the only person claiming Pro-Life. I had an interesting time at the California primary's listening to the rich elite GOP talk about how much they hated voting for him - but they did it. It's laughable to me to think about my parent's generation who value small government and low taxes who hate reality television have to vote for the host of The Apprentice.

>>>ORPHANS are wrecking my heart everywhere I look. Nick and I have had a rollercoaster of moments in which I think God is directing us to foster parenting. But because of my HUGE DOUBT and fear I'm not going to say anything more than we are in part 2 of training for Foster parenting. More on this later.

Finally, MY MARRIAGE to Nick feels like we have come to a steady stream of awesome. He still travels more than I like, and I get irrationally moody over nothing, but I now feel like we've mastered the small stuff. He just gets me. We don't have to work so hard at being sensitive and intuitive to each others needs. He's a fantastic dad, and the best supporter of me I could have dreamed up. I love overplayed country songs like this that make me cry at how much I love my man:

For my 32nd birthday wish - well duh, I'd like to finally win that HGTV dream home, but if I don't - yeah, I'd like another baby.

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