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Thursday, March 19, 2015

I like the security of a dad hug

My Dad holding Emme giving her the security of love he always has given me

I'm going to bed tonight wishing I could wake up and go meet my dad for breakfast at Sunrise Sunset in Lakewood for a cheesy potato skillet and a hug.  You know the hug - the dad sort of hug that bear hug grabs you and smells like childhood nostalgia (in my case mens Ralph Lauren cologne that comes in the green bottle) and makes you feel like the world will work itself out.  Actually, much more than that - I swear that hug makes me feel like like everything I'm doing is pretty great. Secure.

I talked to my brother tonight about another dad of his friends who is fighting to stay alive. A great man, a great dad.  I asked him what he'd tell him if he could visit him tonight and he said he would just tell him thank you for always believing in me.  For thinking that he was important, athletic, and was going to do something great in the world.  Isn't that what dads have the capability of making us feel?  Their pride and belief in us makes us feel like we really can do anything. Secure enough to try.

Since becoming a mom these days blur into months and I started to wonder if all this baby talk is the best use of my potential and time.  Around month two, my dad called me and said,
"JESSICA, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU. THIS WORK YOU'RE DOING MAY APPEAR SMALL, BUT IT IS SO IMPORTANT. YOU ARE BECOMING A MOM AND HELPING YOUR DAUGHTER FEEL LOVED, ATTACHED, SECURE. THAT'S A VERY SPECIAL JOB.
I can't tell you how many times I think of that and feel instantly more at peace.  I'm so sad my dad doesn't live a few miles across town, but I'm so thankful I feel so secure in that love.  I hope Emme feels that secure in how much Nick loves her.  I hope my dad knows what a great dad he is to me.  If you're able to - go hug your dad today.  When they're gone, I wonder if the world will feel as secure as it does while they're here?

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